Finding the Sun
by ThyLaSlain
Summary: All it was, all it is, a duty served to the family. An obligation and a burden. But it had to be done. And it was. Still, Neji knew. Nothing would change. Yet nothing was the same. NejiHina. Rating for later chapters.
1. I: Wedding in the Snow

**Summary: **All it was, all it is, a duty served to the family. An obligation and a burden.But it was to be done. And it was. Still, Neji knew. Nothing would change. Yet nothing was the same.

**Pairing: **Neji x Hinata

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13 for...yeah. lol.

**Disclaimer: **_Naruto and all related characters (c) Masashi Kishimoto -- I.E. They are not mine._

**AN: **My first fanfic. Heh. Please be kind. Glossary of most japanese words at the bottom._  
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**Wedding in the Snow **

They were opposites.

Where she was soft, he was hard. Where there was light in her, he bathed in darkness. Where there was a peace in her, he was in turmoil. Where she glowed, he was dull.

They were the same.

The same pale eyes. The same pale skin. The same dark hair; hers now having grown down down down, past her shoulders, past her wisp of a waist, past her hips.

They were the same.

The same sorrow. The same loss. The same needs and desires. They needed to be wanted. They desired to be loved.

No one could say that they belonged but this was duty. This was what they had to do. He could feel her trembling besides him, her imperial blue uchikake engulfing her. Even then, the many layers did not protect her from the cold. Eyes that could see everything were damp with tears that wanted to fall. They did not. He was surprised. And he was glad. He had never learned how to deal with tears. He never wanted to learn.

Snow fell all around them, the frozen tears of the sad sky. He did not need to turn his head nor shift his eyes to see that his bride had begun to bite her lip, but then stopped. She was ruining the paint on her lips. The last thing she wanted was to ruin anything.

That night they retired to their home, a gift from her father, just five minutes from the main compound. He let her enter first and in the dark, she stumbled into a nearby table, with a quiet _oh! _and even though he could not see her face, he knew she was red. Closing the door behind him, he put the keys onto the table and watched her in the dark as she stumbled around their new home.

It was not meant to be this way. He was sure. But with her not being fit to become head of the family, and her sister being too hotheaded to be even considered, he was chosen. But first, they had to be married.

She found her way into the bedroom. She had not opened the lights. He knew though, that she could not bring herself to look at him or at herself. But even more so, she did not want him to see her. He followed her into the bedroom, illuminated by the moon through the curtains. All light was blue and everything else was black. She was standing now, uncertain, silhouetted against the window, hair up in the bunkin-takashimada. It was winter; an unlikely time to hold a wedding but he supposed it was so that they were wed as soon as possible. The engagement was announced a month ago and he knew that if they were not married soon, one of them was sure to back out.

He had a strong feeling that it would have been him.

He stood over his wife, the small blossoms in her hair had been hard to find; the only flowers left in Konohagakure. Everything else swallowed by the snow. He stood and she sat in the awkward silence that followed and when he finally moved to rest a hand on her shoulder, he heard her let out a breath he knew she had been holding.

He cupped her chin with his other hand, planning to kiss her. Blue reflected off white and changed her eye color. In the dimness, he saw that her eyes were blank. She was not here. She had not been here, with him, since he had entered the room. He moved away from her as her lidded eyes looked up at him.

"Oyasumi-nasai, Hinata-sama."

He left her then, heading out of the bedroom and into the guestroom.

Sometime during the night, he used his Byakugan to see through the walls painted pale blue. It was wrong, he knew, but he told himself it was alright. That he was worried. That he had a reason. She was still sitting up, her back to him, her hair down now, the kanzashi ornaments set on the night table. Her uchikake draped over a chair, revealing her white shiro-maku underneath.

He watched her for what seemed like hours. Then, finally, with her shoulders visibly shaking and her back to him, she fell limp onto her side and cried herself to sleep. It would not be the last time he would watch his wife cry nor would it be the last time he would not go to her and comfort her, hold her and tell her it was alright. Precious little would be alright in the following months for the Hyuugas and the rest of Konohagakure.

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Glossary:  
Uchikake - patterned wedding kimono, worn over the white wedding kimono during the wedding reception.  
Bunkin-takashimada - An elaborate wedding hairstyle, decorated with kanzashi ornaments  
Kanzashi - hair ornaments  
Oyasumi-Nasai - goodnight. Literally sleep well.  
Shiro-maku - Bridal kimono; white, worn during the actual wedding ceremony.

_If i've missed out anything/made any mistakes, please feel free to correct me. Arigatou gozaimasu._


	2. II: Itte Rishai

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13

**Pairings: **Neji x Hina implied Shika x Temari

**AN: **Glossary of most japanese words at the bottom.

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**Itte Rashai**

Hinata opened her eyes. She sat up carefully and stared at the empty space next to her. She was not used to waking up in a bed made for two. But looking besides her now, it seemed like a vast space for everything she had always dreamed about but could no longer grasp.

With war threatening to break out and the growing number of casualties, Hyuuga Hinata's dreams were now a distant memory. In her mind, she fancied that her dreams, though they were few, and simple, were beginning to lose shape. Beginning to lose substance and essence and life. Losing life they never had to begin with.

Still, they had been dreams. _Hers_. Hers alone. She told no one about them and therefore no one could criticize them. No one could tell her they weren't possible. That she was being stupid. That she could never change. Glancing up, she saw her reflection in the mirror. Streaks of white and black adorned her cheeks.

Hinata was married. She splashed the cold water on her face. Half of her part was done. The engagement should not have been a big surprise to her. Hyuuga Hiashi, still fighting inner demons since the death of his twin, wanted to make it up to his lost brother. He must have concluded that this was the way to do it. Make Neji head of the family. Of course, Neji did not know this. Neji knew many things. But this…this, Neji would not have understood. Because he would not have listened.

If Neji was anything, he was bitter. So Neji still thought that the only reason he was picked was because Hinata was too weak and Hanabi too stubborn and not fit for being head of anything. Of course, these reasons played some roles in the whole affair. But she knew. Her father hurt whenever he looked at Neji. So much could be seen of Hizashi in Neji's countenance.

Hiashi had taken Neji in, trained him, after his near-death experience with one of the sound four. It was through this that her father had felt that he could make things right. This was just the beginning. Hiashi had even begun training his eldest daughter. Then, through training together, and Neji training her when her father was unavailable, the friendship they once had as children blossomed again.

The engagement changed all that. Any chance of friendship between the two Hyuuga children was ripped out like a weed. It was announced at a banquet with all the important delegates of the main and branch families present. Hinata had sat flabbergasted. When had her father decided this? She sat there for a full fifteen minutes, praying that she had merely misheard her father. Five minutes more was spent trying not to cry. Another five spent trying to spot Neji through tears that she hid effectively by a bowed head and a raven curtain of hair. And yet another fifteen spent trying to figure out what Neji thought.

All in all, forty minutes wasted till she came to the final conclusion. Everyone in the room had known about it but her. Even Hanabi, more self-centered than self-conscious than most fourteen year olds were supposed to be, had been aware of the developments. Later on that night, as Hinata lay in her bed, her sister had come to her. She had asked how she had known.

"Neechan," Hanabi had said, crawling into bed with her older sister, "This house's walls are made of paper. Only those who avert their eyes and close their ears do not see and cannot hear."

Hinata had stared up at the ceiling, wide-eyed at her sister's rare placidity and moment of wisdom. It did not last and the next thing Hinata knew, Hanabi was tickling her, making her laugh until it hurt. Then together, the two girls fell asleep. Though when Hinata had woken up the next day, tears stained her cheeks from a dream about lost keys and gilded cages.

Yes. Half of her end was done. She had agreed to marry Neji. The other half…well…the other half required more than just throwing her life away for someone who could barely stand her. The other half required her heart and soul. Hyuuga Hiashi wanted grandchildren.

It almost happened last night. Hinata's eyes widened and she stared at herself in the mirror.

_Last night…_ She had been dazed. Confused. Completely out of it. Next to him, she was a wreck. He had stood tall, proud. Proud. Proud to be with her? She doubted. But he had stood besides her nonetheless, never leaving her side. He caught her when she stumbled a few times and he refused to let her dive into the shadows.

"Hinata-sama" He had whispered to her, making sure no one heard and no one saw. "You will be head of this family soon. Keep your head high and look up to nobody. Do not show them weakness. Do not prove them right."

Then, the night passed in a blur. Her few friends were there. Shino, Kiba, Neji's teammates Lee and Tenten, Haruno Sakura…Of course, no Uzumaki Naruto. He was gone. Gone on the mission that seemed to be defining him now. The search for his Uchiha Sasuke. Somewhere along the way, Hinata had stopped liking Naruto and had begun loving him. Not in the way she had expected however. She treasured him as a friend and a precious person. That would never change now. She was glad. It would be difficult marrying someone when you loved someone else.

Having said that; almost everyone else that mattered was present that evening. Even the young Kazekage and his siblings. Although Temari would have been there anyway, thanks to Shikamaru.

Both Neji and Hinata were too young to enjoy the nine customary cups of sake. Hinata had regretted this. She needed to be drunk for what was to come. She had fled to the bedroom and had been close to dying when he'd followed her in. Yet he did nothing with her. To her. She vaguely remembered him trying to start something. At least, she _thinks_ she remembers that he had tried…but then he did not. He had stopped and then he had left her. Hinata's heart seemed to stop and closing the tap, she wiped her hands and face and scrambled outside.

She expected him to have gone. Have left. Left the guestroom she knew he had gone to, left the house, left the compound and left Konohagakure. She expected him to have left her.

She searched the house. He was not there. Running outside, Hinata looked wildly around. There was no sign of him. Tears stung the back of her eyes and then receded. She should have known. She should have known. Her heart pounded in her ears as she sunk down into the snow.

"Hinata-sama. Ohayou gozaimasu."

"N-neji-niisan!" Hinata exclaimed, attempting to stand, but tripping on the long hem of her kimono.

Neji sighed, annoyed as he helped his wife up.

In the morning, with the snow falling lazily around them, Hinata glowed.

"O-ohayo-ou gozaimasu N-neji-nii –" Hinata stopped.

He knew she had started to make a conscious effort to drop the 'niisan' honorific. It would be strange, to call your husband your older brother. He regarded his cousin, his wife, for a few moments more. Nobody could accuse Neji of being fond of her. He was not.

Not anymore. Perhaps it was unfair of him to hate her, when she was as trapped in the web of the House Council as he. Just pawns. Both of them. But he, who had suffered all his life, Neji could not bring himself to admit that Hinata had suffered just as much. Under the scrutiny of her father, her already introverted demeanor worsened. Over the years, he had watched his cousin go farther and farther into her shell. That was all he thought she was. A shell of a person.

That is, until the Chuunin exams. She had shown great strength – not much skill – but strength that he had never known she had possessed let alone could possess. He had intended to end her. By ending her, it would mean he would be free. He would no longer be anybody's caged bird. But no.

She'd survived.

And he had hated her all the more for it – because as she lay in the hospital, struggling to hold on to life, he realized what he had done. He hated her because she caused him to loathe himself.

When Hiashi explained to him of his father's decision after his fight with the loud, obnoxious blond during the Chuunin exams, his outlook on life had altered. It was not so bad, after all, to belong to someone, if they belonged to you as well. That's what the two twin brothers had. They had each other, they respected and loved each other.

Who had Neji belonged to? The most obvious answer was Hinata. Yet he had tried to kill her. Kill her to be free. But somewhere, somewhere within the blinding hate he had for his timid, quiet, annoyingly sweet little cousin, he'd realized what he truly wanted from her. He wanted _her_.

The realization hit the Hyuuga Clan's prodigy when he was fifteen. Five years later, it haunted him still. When they were together, and he trained her, every hit he devastated her with was laced with the hidden need he had for her. This was the only way Neji knew how to show love.

As he led his stammering, apologizing cousin back into their home, he had a second epiphany about her in five years. As he led his stammering, apologizing wife back into their home, he realized he wanted to learn new ways of love. And that the only person he wanted to learn them with was with her. Only with her.

Hinata sat at the kitchen table, watching Neji prepare a meal for her. He had insisted. She had tried teasing him about how bad his cooking was but he had taken it to heart and she stopped. The last thing she needed was to have a fight on their first day of marriage.

Marriage. How strange. In another world, nineteen would have been too small a number to be married. But in this world, where friends and family died everyday, when every breath could possibly be your last, living past your late twenties was rare. It was all very _carpe diem_. They were at the brink of war, even whilst recovering from the last one. If you could not be happy now, you would never get the chance.

Neji set the plate in front of her and sat across from her.

"Ano, Neji-nii – Neji-san, aren't you going to eat?" Hinata whispered.

Neji shook his head.

"I have news from Godaime. I have a mission."

Hinata set her cup of tea down hastily infront of her.

"S-so soon? Sh-she promised…Otousan that you would have a few days off." Hinata stammered.

"I know that, Hinata-sama. But something important has risen. I cannot stay behind." Neji said, getting up.

Hinata watched him enter the bedroom to prepare himself. When he exited, his hair which was lose was now bound back in his usual style and he wore his ANBU attire, his mask in his right hand. He found it ironic that the animal chosen for him was the eagle. Hinata thought it was fitting. His back was to her and she knew he could feel her eyes on him.

"I don't know when I'll be back." He said to the unasked question that hung in the air.

As he moved to the door, Hinata stood and went to him. He looked down at her, hand gripping the door knob.

"Odaijini…Neji-san." She whispered.

Then, as if on a whim, she stood on her toes and because of their height difference, barely managed to brush his jaw with her lips. For a moment, Neji's eyes widened. But she did not see it.

Neji looked down and nodded.

"Itte kimasu." He said.

Then he was gone.

Hinata stood at their doorway. Was it going to always be this way? Hinata sighed, her breath fogging up before her in the cold. Cold that she hardly took notice for as she watched Neji disappear into the mist and snow.

"Itte rashai…" She whispered.

In her mind's eye, her words traveled on the wind and found their way to him and they would keep him safe. Keep him safe for her.

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Glossary:  
Neechan - Older sister  
Ohayou Gozaimasu - Goodmorning  
Ano - A sort of filler, like the english equivelent of "uhm..."  
Otousan - father  
Odaijini - Take care of yourself  
Itte kimasu - I'm leaving  
Itte rashai - Come back soon. 

_If i've missed out anything/made any mistakes, please feel free to correct me. Arigatou gozaimasu._


	3. III: Never

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13 for language

**Pairings: **Neji x Hina / mentioned: Shika x Temari / Lee x Saku / Cho x Ino

**AN: **Glossary of most japanese words at the bottom.

**

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**

**III  
Never**

From the kunoichi, Hinata certainly wasn't the first to have gotten married. No. Ino was the one to beat her to that. Akimichi Ino and Chouji married on his birthday. Ino had been a dazzling bride; which was to be expected from the gorgeous woman. During the past few years, through Sakura; Hinata and Ino became close friends.

The three women were often seen together, along with Temari. Today was no exception as a heavily pregnant Ino with an equally pregnant Sakura sat with Temari and Hinata at a tea house; a discovery of Temari's that the three Konoha kunoichi were very grateful for.

All four women were in a state of deep melancholy that they tried hard to hide from each other, most of all from Hinata. Hinata was a natural worrier, which was probably why she made an excellent medical Nin. She cared. It was three weeks after the wedding and all four kunoichi were without their respective partners.

"This, ladies, is what you get for being wed to impossibly talented shinobi." Temari hiccoughed.

Hinata nervously patted her friend on the back.

"T-t-temari-san, please, not here." She stammered, gently prying the sake bottle from Temari.

Temari smirked but let Hinata have her bottle. She was not a drinker but when Shikamaru was off on missions, she worried to no end. She would be damned though, if Shikamaru ever found out.

Both Ino and Sakura were subconsciously rubbing their swollen bellies. Sakura was well into her eighth month; she wondered if Lee would be home to see their child.

"Must have been terrible on you though, Hina, what, with Neji leaving like that on your first day of marriage." Temari said turning to Hinata, suddenly sober.

Hinata blushed furiously.

"I-iie…This is the path we must follow. Neji-san is ANBU now…His first responsibility is to Konoha."

Temari rolled her eyes and gasped when she felt a kick from underneath the table. She looked across the table. Both Sakura and Ino were glaring at her. It was impossible to tell who had kicked her.

"We-well…It's getting late. I should go. I'll see you tomorrow morning, Ino? And, Sakura, you should take care." Hinata said, after a long silence.

"What? What for? It's only six o'clock." Temari said, blinking.

"I h-have to fix dinner f-for Neji-san…"

"He's back?" Ino asked, blinking.

"I-iie. D-demo, he might be…a-and, I would like to greet him with dinner." Hinata answered, turning crimson.

Both Temari and Ino cocked an eyebrow, while Sakura smiled giddily over the sweetness of it all. Pregnancy had made Sakura unusually sappy. Ino sighed.

"Alright then. Take care, Hina." Ino sighed.

Hinata stepped into the house which she shared only briefly with Neji. Three weeks away on a mission was normal. Usually it was easy not to worry. But not when countries were declaring war among each other. She knew the others felt the same. Chouji, Shikamaru and Lee were all called for a week after Neji. They were all on separate missions and it would only be a matter of time before Temari would be called upon by her younger brother.

The only reason the Godaime did not call for Hinata was because she was needed in the hospitals. Everyday, Jounin, Chuunin and even some Genin returned home from missions of varying levels of danger, injured and needing medical treatment. Otherwise, talented or not, Hinata would have been sent on a mission herself.

She divested herself of her coat and hung it neatly behind the bedroom door. After making sure the heater was working, Hinata took off the long sleeved turtleneck that she had been wearing and replaced it with a lighter, looser, long sleeved shirt.

She walked to the kitchen, tying her long hair up in a bun. She would have stopped growing it long, if Neji had not told her one time that he liked her hair like that.

_"Ne, Neji-niisan. Give me a moment." Hinata said, out of breath and pulling out a hair tie. _

_She tied her hair back clumsily, not used to it being so long. _

_"I'm going to have to cut it." She murmured to herself aloud. _

_Turning back to Neji, who was watching her, she went back into fighting stance. Neji cocked his head to one side, regarding his cousin. _

_"Iie, Hinata-sama." He said, coming over to her and pulling the hair tie from her hair so it fell down, just above her shoulders. _

_"Keep your hair long. It looks good on you." _

Hinata had blushed furiously. Neji had never complimented her on the way she looked before. And he never did again afterwards. So she did as he recommended, and in the end, she liked it like that.

Still, she missed not needing to tie her hair back. She went to her fridge and began taking out the things she would need for tonight's dinner. She had made dinner for two every night for the past three weeks. Maybe it was her way of dealing with Neji's absence.

In the kitchen, Hinata showed the same skill and precision that her husband – she gulped at the word – showed on the battlefield. With her brows furrowed in concentration, she moved around the kitchen masterfully and gracefully, all thoughts on the meal she was preparing, a way of diverting her mind from who she was preparing the meal for.

As Hinata cut the carrots into thin, fine, even sticks, she allowed her mind to wander for a moment. Her relationship with her cousin had always been a strange one. Complicated in ever sense of the word. They did not understand each other and they did not even pretend to. Hinata had failed to realize, until very recently, that the one person whose opinion of her that mattered was not her father, her sister or even Naruto; it was Neji's opinion that meant the world to her. In the end, whose acknowledgement had she fought so hard for?

His.

On her seventeenth birthday, by Hyuuga tradition, she was officially a woman. The party was held in a resort town. The entire village was invited and almost everyone attended.

The entire Hyuuga clan took up one hotel; with Hiashi taking the Imperial Suite and Hinata taking up the smaller but just as grand, Empress Suite. The celebrations lasted nine days, the ninth day Hinata's actual birthday. The Hyuuga clan stayed all nine days, while the villagers were allowed to stayed for only the first three; the first day of their stay was paid by her father. Hanabi had whined that she didn't like her room and that the aunt she was staying with snored. For the last three days, Hinata stayed with their Aunt Chiisai, who indeed, snored.

So every night, for the next three nights, Hyuuga Hinata left her aunt to her deep, sweet sleep and she would walk along the halls of the hotel, which had rooms on one side and then a balcony open to the baths below on the other. The night before her birthday, Hinata left her room again and bumped into Neji.

Looking up at him, anger had flashed in his eyes, a look of pure, unadulterated hatred that had not been in them for a while now, simmered in eyes of white.

"G-gomen nasai, Neji-niisan!" She had stammered.

She tried to put a hand on his arm, to steady herself, but he recoiled at the touch and it sent her stumbling on the ground.

He did not help her up. She wondered dimly to herself as he walked past her, why he was so cruel. She pulled herself up and upon hearing her stand, he had stopped. He turned his head to the side, but did not look at her. It seemed as if he was waiting for something.

When he fully turned around to face her, Hinata did the only thing she could think of. She smiled at him.

Neji blinked, several times and then the anger was back and he had her against the wall, staring down at her. She had stared up at him in wide eyed disbelief. He was hurting her.

"N-neji-niisan!" She had exclaimed.

He shook her as much as the wall behind her would allow.

"Do something. _Do_ something!" He spat in her face.

She was confused, confused beyond all imagining.

"D-do what, Oniisan?" She cried, her arms would be bruised tomorrow. Her head hurt.

He shook her again.

"Do what the others would do. _Hurt_ me. _Punish_ my damned existence! Just don't _stand there like you don't know what I'm talking about_!"

She had been bewildered.

"Sumimasen, demo…I-I don't understand Oniisan!"

That's when he had struck her and she fell, crumpled on the floor, like a draft of a letter too insubstantial to continue.

Hinata hissed as she cut her finger with the knife. She washed her wound and applied a simple healing technique onto it. Once she was satisfied that her finger would no longer bleed, she began putting all the ingredients in a pot and began to cook, making the soup. Dressed chicken was ready, waiting for her to pop it into the oven. Desert was already in the fridge, waiting to be eaten.

The soup was quick and easy to make. Once she was sure it was done, she turned off the gas and closed the lid of the pot. She put the chicken into the oven and turned it on. She would have an hour or so to take a bath and prepare the dining table. She would bathe first.

Steam filled the bathroom and Hinata perched the timer onto the sink, to ensure she would not lose track of time and let the chicken burn. Sliding in, into the hot water, Hinata sighed. She caressed her cheek, and in her mind, she still felt the sting of his slap there.

One of their second cousins had walked out then. A member of the main house, Hyuuga Seijaku meant trouble for Neji if he had seen what had just occurred. Neji had stood straight, looking at Seijaku straight in the eyes.

Seijaku's gaze went from Neji to Hinata. His eyes widened.

"What is the meaning of this?" He asked coldly, staring Neji in the eye.

Neji did not answer. As Hinata climbed to her feet for the second time in five minutes, she answered her cousin.

"Betsu ni, Seijaku-san." Hinata answered. "Please. Go back to sleep."

"Iie, Hinata-san. I will have to report this to your father."

Then, calmly as she could, Hinata shook her head.

"That will not be necessary, Seijaku-san. Please, do not bother yourself. I merely tripped and fell. Neji-niisan just has very bad timing." Hinata had been impressed with herself. Her voice did not tremble at all, and she could look Seijaku straight in the eyes as she lied right to his face.

"Iie! That is not true! I s--" Seijaku stopped.

Spying was not tolerated. Especially spying on the Hyuuga Heir. Hinata raised an eyebrow.

"Oyasumi nasai, Seijaku-san." She said softly.

Seijaku retreated to his room and Hinata let out a sigh of relief. She turned her attention back to Neji, who had his narrowed eyes on Seijaku's door. He turned back to look at her.

"Why?" He asked, his trademark mask of calm back again. Hinata could barely believe he had ever let it slip.

"Why what Oniisan?"

The mask broke again and he had her pressed against the walls again. Yes. She would have bruises on her arms.

"Why won't you treat me like the others do? Why don't you make use of the fucking mark on my forehead? WHY?"

"Please! Neji-niisan! Don't shout! Seijaku-san is already suspicious and he'll tell Otousan about this and then--"

"I don't give a damn! Tell me! Why won't you hurt me!"

Hinata's eyes softened then.

"Neji-niisan. Is this what it's all about? You want me to hurt you?"

She tried to move a hand up so she could touch his face, but he had her firmly pinned by the arms. She tried again, and this time he relinquished her a little, enough for her to slip a hand beneath the hitai-ate he wore and touch the mark there.

"Why would I?" She whispered.

"Why won't you." He hissed back.

"Because, Neji-niisan…" she moved her hand so that his hitai-ate fell off and landed on the ground with a _clink_. "It would prove them right. If I turned and hurt you just because you provoked me. It would prove them right. They would be right. It would show that I am weak. They will know I am weak."

His eyes dissolved into hers after that. Foreheads pressed against each other, Hinata shuddered slightly. She did not believe she had touched him on his forehead, the one place he did not like being touched. And now he was touching his against hers and Hinata wondered dully if somehow, the mark would be transferred onto her forehead by some miracle. For they all knew that Neji deserved to be in the main house and she in the branch house. Yes, fate was cruel like that sometimes.

"Iie, Hinata-sama." He whispered.

Hinata shivered. It was cold. December was always cold. But she knew she didn't shiver because of it.

"Iie, Hinata-sama. You will never. Never. Never be weak. You were never weak. You are not weak. Never."

They stood like that for hours. He seemed to whisper it to her over and over. Never. Never. Never. Each time he said it, Hinata felt sure it was true. Never. Never. Never. She was never weak. Never never never. At least not in his eyes. No. Not 'at least'. No. She was never weak. Never never never, _because_ she was never weak in his eyes.

In his blanched, pained eyes.

* * *

Glossary:  
Kunoichi - female ninja  
Iie - No  
Gomen Nasai - Sorry  
Sumimasen - Sorry  
Demo - but  
Betsu ni - It's nothing  
Hitai-ate - the forehead protector 

_If i've missed out anything/made any mistakes, please feel free to correct me. Arigatou gozaimasu._


	4. IV: Her Mother's Daughter

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13 for language  
**  
Pairings: **Neji x Hina / mentioned: Shika x Temari / Lee x Saku / Cho x Ino

**AN: **Glossary of most japanese words at the bottom.

**My Reviewers:  
Ru-chan: **Thank you. It's my first attempt at this, and I really don't wanna mess up. nn  
**Marumaruyobi:** oh thank you so much:D You made my day! Hope you like this chapter as well!

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**IV **

**Her Mother's Daughter **

Neji did not come back that night, nor did he come the night after. Or the night after that. Or the night after that.

Every night, she made dinner. The night before had been no different, nor was it any different in the fact that Neji had not come back home. So, as per usual for the last few weeks, that day, Hinata wrapped up the dinner she had carefully prepared and made her way to the Inuzuka compound. Kiba of course, was away. So were his mother and sister. But his grandmother was there.

Inuzuka Souga was a stout woman with skin that seemed to be thick as leather. She had the same strange eyes that the Inuzuka clan was famous for. Laugh lines went deep on either side of her eyes and Inuzuka Souga's eyes twinkled with mirth at the sight of the young Hyuuga heir.

"Ohayou gozaimashita, Souga-baasan." Hinata smiled.

Souga nodded her reply and laughed merrily as Hinata bent down to plant two kisses on Souga's cheeks; one on each side.

Kiba was always freaked out by his grandmother. He often called her Baba-sama. Hinata would nervously tell him to stop, that it was inappropriate and mean. He would laugh at her and tell her that Souga enjoyed the pet name.

"So. What do we have here, Hina-chan?"

"Bitsu-ni, Souga-baasan…Just something I cooked last night."

Souga's strange eyes twinkled.

"Hai. Give it here, Hina-chan." Souga unwrapped the package and smiled.

"Ahh! Looks good, Hina-chan. If you get bored working at that wretched hospital, you could open a restaurant, ne?"

Souga despised the hospital. She never used to go, unless Kiba and his family would sedate her in some way and dragged her over there. But now, since Hinata was a medical Nin, she could take care of Souga in the peace of Souga's home.

Hinata giggled. She was so much more relaxed here. Souga had her own house in the Inuzuka compound. Being one of the oldest, she was _the_ most revered and respected woman in the clan. As a result, the younger children feared her and she didn't often receive visitors. But Hinata enjoyed her stays with the old woman. She was the grandmother Hinata never had.

Souga ate the fish Hinata had made the night before happily. All of it was there. She had not touched the meals. She would not touch them unless she had someone to eat them with. Unless she had Neji to eat them with.

As a result, Hinata had begun to lose weight. She realized this a few days ago and had started making a separate meal for her to eat alone, along with the dinner she would cook for both Neji and her.

"Ne, Hina-chan, how's your Neji-kun doing?"

Hinata blushed at the question.

"Iie, Souga-baasan…He is not _mine_…"

Souga chuckled. Hinata blushed harder.

"Just answer the question, aiji."

"Ano…he's…Fine."

Hinata bowed her head. Tears falling.

"Ne, aiji, why the tears?"

"G-gomen-nasai, Obaasan…Demo…To tell you the truth, I don't know! I don't know how Neji-san is. I-hic- haven't heard from him since he left more than a month ago!"

Hinata broke down and Souga tactfully stopped eating the fish and patted Hinata on the back.

"You have not told anyone about the way you feel." Souga said. It was not a question.

Hinata sobbed, nodded and rubbed her eyes with her hands, feeling five years old again.

"W-we-we were jus-jus-jus-jus-" Hinata stopped speaking and angrily tried to get her tongue straight, tears flowing down her cheeks. "We were ju-just MARRIED. We-we-we were just MARRIED, O-obaasan! We-we-we did-didn't eve-even sp-spe-spe-hic!-spend the night together."

Hinata blushed furiously at this confession.

Souga's eyes widened.

"Saa…Sou ka…" was all Souga could say at the moment.

"D-do-doushite? Why did he have to go?" Hinata cried, her tone bordering whining.

Souga continued to rub Hinata's back.

"Don't cry, Hina-chan. It will be OK. He'll come back. No news is better than bad news, ne?"

Hinata nodded through her tears. After she had calmed a little, she placed her hands on her lap, hiccoughing slightly. Souga handed her some water which she whispered a quiet "Doumo arigatou gozaimashita…" to.

"Now go, Hina-chan. Your father is waiting for you."  
Hinata's eyes widened.

"Kame! I forgot! Otousan!" She felt miserable as she kissed Souga on both cheeks and ran off, wanting to get ready before her meeting with her father.

The heavy kimono she wore protected her from the cold but it did not protect her from her father's icy glare.

"Neji has not yet come back."

Hinata was not sure if her father was _telling_ her, or _asking_ her or just using the sentence as some sort of introduction. So all she could do was nod.

"If he does, I expect him to continue your training, Hinata."

Hinata flinched at the '_if_'. _When._ Hinata corrected her father in her mind.

"You seemed to have shown some improvement, particularly underneath his tutelage. I expect it to continue. While you have been stripped from your responsibilities as heir, I still expect you to be able to perform the _basics_." Hiashi said, standing.

Hinata remained in her kneeling position before her father.

Hiashi sighed. This was not the first time he had done so in disappointment. It broke Hinata's heart.

"You were never meant to be heir." He said. "You were not fit to be one."

Nothing that she had not heard before. Yet it still made her cringe.

"You do not have the heart for it, Hinata. No. You were never like me. Never like your sister. Never like Neji."

Hinata wanted to block out her father's voice but could not.

"No. Nothing like us. You have our eyes, Hinata. But you have Hinode's heart."

Hinata started.

Her father had never mentioned her mother before. At least, not to her.

"You even look like her. Same, soft smile. Same sweet face. No, Hinata. The moment I saw you, I knew. You are your mother's daughter."

Hinata took a peek up at her father but then quickly lowered her eyes. His expression had not changed since she entered. Not softened by a bit.

Hyuuga Hiashi sat back down and regarded his daughter.

"You will inform me if Neji comes back. That will be all."

"When." Hinata whispered.

"What?"

"When, Otousan. N-not 'if'."

With arms crossed in front of him, Hiashi closed his eyes and smiled.

"If you insist, Hinata. _When_ he gets back."

She stood then, having been dismissed. But just before she left, she turned around and bowed low at the waist.

"Domo Arigatou Gozaimasu…chichue."

Hinata tried to smile at her friends, crowded all around her.

"Otanjoubi omedetou Hina-chan!"

Hinata blushed, not used to being the centre of attention like this.

"PRESENTS!" She heard Ino scream from somewhere behind her.

There was a flurry of ribbons and wrapping paper and boxes magically found their way on her lap. Hinata was getting some form of headache and she glanced over at the main table, where the main house members all sat, watching her. Her father had his eyes closed, a frown on his face. He was getting a headache as well.

"Ano…c-could we please…be a bit more quiet…" Hinata whispered.

Hiashi opened one eye. It was surprising how Hinata, had the ability to make all hear her, even when she whispered.

"But why Hina-chan!" They all asked in unison.

"B-be-because…" Hinata took a quick glance at her father.

He watched her, amusement twinkling in his eyes. Yes, she was definitely Hinobe's child.

She turned back to her guests.

"It would be better like that." She said lamely, blushing a beautiful shade of crimson.

Still, they listened and the noise level went down several notches.

Hinata was pleased. Her friends, all of them. Well, most of them. Were all present. It was surprising really, how much noise could come out of a handful of people. But when those people consisted of the likes of Kiba, Ino and Sakura, noise was what came to be expected. Ino was arguing with Chouji again, complaining that he was eating everything. Chouji completely ignored his wife. Lee was being overly emotional about Sakura's about-to-burst stomach and Sakura basked in it. How two emotionally unstable people could have found each other – and fallen in love at that – had always amazed Hinata.

Still, it wasn't complete. Temari was not present which made Shikamaru miserable. None of the sand trio were present. It had been a while since Hinata had seen the Kazekage and his puppet wielding older brother.

And of course, there was no Neji. More than a month now, and still no word from him.

Hinata walked home, Kiba and Shino on either side of her, helping her with her vast assortment of presents. Akamaru trotted ahead, happily scratching at the snow and sniffing here and there. Hinata opened the door for them and let them in.

Kiba and Shino looked around them. Everything in the house spoke of Hinata. There was no sign of a male influence in the house. Hinata dropped the keys onto the table near the door. The house was not small, certainly. It almost seemed too big for one person. Certainly too big for one Hinata. They went out of the small hallway leading from the entrance, left their shoes and entered the rest of the house, watching their step at the step that raised you to the living room.

To Kiba's keen nose, nothing of Neji was left. Nearly two months away and only having spent one night here; everything smelt of Hinata. It was as if she lived alone.

"Ano, Kiba-kun…please. Just leave them there. I'll arrange them later." Hinata whispered.

She turned on the lights and they were bathed in a soft, warm glow. Hinata loved light colours. The living room only spoke of her, from the simple yet elegant curtains that hung up at the windows to the sofas and armchairs right down to the centrepiece. Akamaru ran up to one of the armchairs and lay there, panting. He had grown. He now took up the entire armchair.

"Iie Hinata-chan. I'll help you arrange them." Kiba answered.

"A-arigatou, Kiba-kun." Hinata smiled.

All the while, Shino was silent. Which wasn't anything new, but throughout the years, Kiba, as dense as he was, finally learnt how to read his quiet, insect infested friend.

"Please excuse me." She said, and disappeared into the bedroom for a moment, closing the door behind her.

"Ne, Shino, why so serious?" Kiba asked, haphazardly dropping the presents on one of the sofas.

Kiba could almost _feel_ Shino's eyes narrow at him. This must be why Shino insisted on carrying the more fragile presents. Kiba shrugged.

"I wonder when Neji-san will be coming back." Shino said.

Kiba shrugged again.

"What? Him? Who cares about the teme."

Shino did not turn to look at him.

"Apparently, Hinata-san does."

Kiba wasn't listening. Shino sighed and watched as Kiba devoured an apple he had picked up from the fruit bowl on the counter dividing the kitchen from the rest of the house. Kiba took off his sweater and threw it on top of Hinata's birthday gifts.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't really matter. That guy just doesn't know how to die. He'll be back. At least, he had better." Kiba said, nonchalantly.

He landed in an armchair and put his feet up on the centre table.

"Hm?" Shino said, turning his attention back to Kiba.

"Nothing. Just, I don't trust him. Maybe he ran off. Heh. What a coward if you ask me. Leaving like that."

"He left because Godaime ordered him to. He was needed."

"And Hinata doesn't need him here? With her?" Kiba growled.

At this, Shino had no answer. Even if he did, he would not have had the chance to say it out loud as Hinata exited the bedroom, humming happily to herself.

"Really, you guys don't have to help…I'll do that later. I'll make some tea."

"Nah, Hinata, don't bother yourself. It's your birthday. Shino will make the tea." Kiba smiled.

Hinata turned to look at Shino. He glowered inwardly at Kiba but only nodded at Hinata. She smiled warmly up at him. He made his way to the kitchen, his Kikai telling him exactly where everything was.

"Arigatou, Shino-kun!" He heard her call out to him.

Kiba helped Hinata arrange the ornaments Hinata had gotten. Among them a porcelain tea set, plated gold here and there that she had gotten from her father. Her sister had bought her an ornamental fan which Hinata fanned out and placed on the back of the front door. Other trinkets included jewellery and a box made of jade. Hinata wasn't sure who had given her that. It was beautiful beyond words.

The rest were items of clothing, which Hinata scooped up in her arms to hang up in her closet. Kiba followed her into the bedroom, making her blush. He didn't seem to think anything of it and Hinata chose to ignore it. Kiba opened the closet and stood there for a while, in slight shock.

"Ano…his clothes are still in his apartment. He never got round to moving them here and I don't have the key." Hinata whispered, seeing the look on Kiba's face.

Kiba didn't say anything and helped Hinata fold her things away. By the end of it, there were only two gifts left, which Hinata had hastily rewrapped.

"What's that, Hina-chan?" He asked, pointing at the presents.

"Oh. Nothing. Just some presents from the girls." She said, blushing furiously and hastily putting them in the closet, in the uppermost shelves.

Kiba shrugged and left the bedroom with her.

They sat together, laughing and drinking tea. Kiba regretted having nominated the Aburame for the task of tea making. He was not as gifted as Hinata was in that area. His tea tasted terrible. But Hinata drank it anyway, smiling, trying her best not to gag. That night, when both men left, they wondered if Neji knew just how lucky he was to have the petite Hyuuga by his side. Each promised himself that if Neji ever hurt the girl he'd come to know as his precious little sister, he would personally break every bone in Neji's body.

Hinata locked the door. She wondered if she should still bother making dinner for two just as she always did. But tonight she was exhausted and it was too late anyway. She decided she'd make a small meal though, for Souga, who was probably expecting it.

Hinata retired that night, staring up at the ceiling and carefully sang to herself the lullaby her mother used to sing to her when she had trouble sleeping. As she drifted off to sleep, Hinata murmured her cousin's name and dreamed that he had come back and that he was perfectly fine and that they would be happy forever and ever.

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Glossary: 

Ohayou gozaimashita - (v. formal) Good Morning  
-Baasan - (honorific) Grandmother / Elderly woman  
Baba - Old hag  
Aiji - Beloved child  
Ne (at the beggining of a sentence) - something equivelant to 'hey'  
Ne (at the end of the sentence) - particle denoting a question, which is expected to be answered positively.  
Obaasan - Grandmother / Elderly woman.  
Saa - ah. or 'well...'  
Sou ka - is that so.  
Doushite - why  
Chichue - father. Less formal than Otousan  
teme - bastard

_If i've missed out anything/made any mistakes, please feel free to correct me. Arigatou gozaimasu._


	5. V: Just Breathe For Kaorichan

**Chapter Rating: **G  
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Pairings: **Neji x Hina / mentioned: Shika x Temari / Lee x Saku / Cho x Ino

**My Reviewers:  
Lady of Genesis: **Thanks for the note. :D Yeah. Aunt Chiisai does mean small. Their cousin, Seijaku, is silence. lol. coz he didn't tell on Neji. heehee.  
**Nalio:** It isn't really incest. In a lot of families, cousins marry each other in order to keep power within the family as well as money. The royal families of Europe is basically a bunch of cousins marrying each other. Almost all of them are descendents of Christian IX, i believe, who was dubbed the father in law of europe. I mean, it's only logical. there aren't many royal blooded people running around for you to marry if u're a princess/prince etc.

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**_For Kaori-chan  
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V  
Just Breathe **

Hinata was exhausted. Being a Medical Nin took a lot out of you. Physically and emotionally. She came home that night drained. Hinata barely managed to get home without passing out completely. Today had been a trying one.

She was thankful that the dinner she meant to cook today was waiting to just be put into the oven. Nothing to prepare. Hinata was meticulous. Every day's meal was just as good as the last. If she began to slack off, and Neji came home, he would not be impressed. Hinata decided today the heater wasn't needed. Winter was beginning to wane.

Readying her bath, she put the timer on the bath as she always did and slowly eased herself into the water while tying her hair up into a bun. She closed her eyes for a moment, sighing as the heat eased her sore muscles. Godaime had come to the hospital that day. She was checking up on everything and everyone, also there to see a special case. One of the Jounin had come back with the strangest burns on his skin.

But Hinata couldn't think about those things now. She was tired. She ached. She closed her eyes once more. _It's alright…just a five minute nap._

Hinata coughed and spluttered, water coming out of her nose and mouth, her lungs ached. She tried opening her eyes only to be blinded by the fluorescent lamp above her. She ached all over and there was a ringing in her ears and a buzzing that was threatening to crack her skull open. The cold, wet tiles of the floor wasn't helping either. Floor? How did she end up on the floor? Hinata attempted to sit up but ended up getting pushed back down again, gently by two fingers on her shoulder.

It was then that she realized someone was there with her. She put an arm over her eyes to block out the light only to realize that the only thing that separated all that she was from this stranger's view was a towel covering her like a blanket. She squealed, wrapping the towel tighter around her. She heard a chuckle. A familiar one. But it was different. Different in that the chuckle was not laced with spite, or anger or disgust. Hinata looked up into cloudy white eyes, so much like her own and yet so different.

"N-neji-san." She managed to choke.

Months. She'd waited months. Seeing him now, only then she began to realize just how much she had missed him. Or perhaps she knew and simply ignored. He helped her sit up and she slumped against him. The last time they'd been this close was…well…on their wedding day, when it had been required for them to kiss. Hidden behind a fan, Neji had looked down at her, knowing full well she didn't want this. She was too frightened. But he bent down anyway and grazed her with his lips, millimetres from her own. It was all for show. And what a spectacular performance that was.

Neji watched the many emotions flash across her face before he lifted her up and carried her to her bedroom. Before he could place her on the bed she moved slightly in his arms, signalling that she'd like it very much if he put her down now. So he did. And he left, closing the door behind him.

Hinata was out again in a few minutes. All she had done was put on clothes; her hair still a mess atop her head and Neji wondered at the sight of her.

Once upon a time, he wanted to break her. Break her into a thousand million pieces. Then he would count the pieces and he would, at his own pace, put her back together. Neji shook his head. He had done enough breaking these past few weeks. Yes. He had done enough breaking and he was breaking enough. The woman in front of him…the _girl_ in front of him didn't deserve it. Didn't deserve it at all.

Now he looked at her and he realized, with growing disdain, how beautiful she was. She hadn't inherited the harsh bone structure of their fathers like he had. She was softer, sweeter looking. She did have the high cheek bones but to a lesser extent than he. Her nose was small and sweet, her lips a hue of pink he felt only she could pull off.

He wondered why the sudden admiration for her. Wondered why it had been so painfully hard to stumble across her drowning in her bathtub. Their bathtub. Why he'd felt his heart stop when he thought maybe he had been two seconds too late. He had cursed her for being so stupid as he pulled her out and cursed himself for being such a lecher when he hesitated an entire second before draping the towel over her form.

So he wondered why all of a sudden, Hinata was important and Hinata was blinding him with all that she was. Then he remembered. Ah yes. He had only missed her to the brink of insanity – maybe beyond it and then back – but wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't admit it to anyone. Least of all himself. He had cursed Godaime for sending him on that mission. Cursed every single Cloud Nin that got in his way. He wanted to go home. No, not his home. Her home. Their home. But he pushed these thoughts away. If he wasn't careful, if he wasn't, if he didn't stop noticing how Hinata had made his favourite sort of soup for him and how Hinata had filled out, curved in all the right places; and how Hinata had lit candles that smelt of jasmine – his favourite flower, though he had told no one – then maybe, this whole thing wouldn't have to be a burden. And then what? He would be happily married to someone who didn't want to be married to him? How quaint.

It was awkward. Of course it would be. How else _could_ it be. She stammered and tripped and stumbled on herself as she busied preparing the kitchen table for two, and as if by magic, a meal was spread out for the two of them as if she had been expecting him. As if she had known. As if she had practiced this every night since he had gone.

He sat and she sat and they ate in silence. He tried once or twice to compliment her cooking. He failed. Not because there was nothing to compliment about – Hinata had always been the best of chefs – but because she kept averting her eyes and would not make eye contact with him. When the baked fish and the steamed rice that followed the soup were finished, Hinata brought out dessert. This was eaten outside in the back gardens; the weather having become pleasant. No longer did the wind bite and it wasn't hot or dry out either.

Finally, by some miracle, she found the courage to look at him. He looked at her, gaze unwavering and she blushed pink.

"Arigatou, Hinata-sama." He said to her.

Hinata smiled, pleased that he was pleased and she let out a sigh.

"O-okaeri-nasai, Neji-san." She whispered.

She blinked several times under his gaze, as if she were looking at a bright light. Looking away, she laughed nervously.

"Thi-this did not turn o-out…the way I had hoped." Hinata thought aloud.

Instantly she regretted it, as she felt Neji's eyes narrow on her, questioningly. How was she supposed to explain this? How _had_ she hoped it would turn out? Well, certainly not him rescuing her from drowning in her own _bathtub_. She had hoped the table would be ready for him when he got there. So he wouldn't have to watch her clumsily dress the table. She wanted to have looked presentable. Not with an old t-shirt – the first thing she had gotten her hands on in the dark – and she had wanted to…well…greet him properly.

How were women supposed to greet their husbands anyway? She wondered. She'd seen Ino and Chouji greet each other. There was a lot of shouting, a lot of Ino smacking Chouji on the head, a lot of huffing on Ino's part and a lot of Chouji simply ignoring her. Then there was Sakura and Lee, where there was a lot of crying, a lot of hugging, a lot of thumbs-up signs, teeth sparkling and strange winds blowing through black hair and inexplicable sunsets/sunrises showing up everywhere. Temari and Shikamaru – they didn't really _welcome_ each other. No. Not really. They just…well…they didn't really do anything at all.

But that was when people were looking. That was what people noticed. Hinata, with eyes that could see everything without meaning to, saw what her friends were like, what they were _actually _like. The little things they would do that no one would notice unless they looked for it.

Ino and Chouji were quieter when they thought no one was looking. Ino would have a mask of complete gratuity and she held on to Chouji's hand, the simple contact seemingly the only thing that was keeping Ino grounded; like the only thing that kept Ino from floating up up up into the sky from relief was her Chouji. Chouji in turn would grip back just as tightly, obviously forgetting all he had seen during the mission because he was with Ino. His Ino.

Sakura and Lee were much the same and Hinata was sure, that the only times Lee wasn't raving on about the flames or fires or whatever's of youth was when he felt he was alone with Sakura. Then, he'd cradle her and he'd whisper things to her that didn't sound like things that were impossibly optimistic or impossibly sickeningly sweet. No, they were things quiet and small, things that only they could understand together and only they could promise each other.

Shikamaru would always have his body turned away from Temari, but he would have one hand gripping tightly to her, like he would never let go. Like he _could_ never let go. Temari hardly looked at Shikamaru. They avoided looking at each other. But she would find every opportunity to graze her fingertips across his bare skin, touching his elbow to get his attention when all she could have done was call out his name. Sometimes she brought herself closer to him thinking no one would notice. There was always a space between the two, which they bridged easily, effortlessly and secretly by their gestures and the slight tilt in Temari's head and the slant in Shikamaru's eyes.

But Hinata and Neji were new with each other and Hinata and Neji weren't really HinataandNeji yet. They were Hinata. And Neji. Or: Neji. And Hinata. Hinata was barely comfortable in her own skin and now she had to share it with someone else.

So how did she hope this night would have turn out? She thought for a moment. She supposed she would have run to him, positively jumped him, hugged him and showered him with affection. Then they would have a candle lit dinner and she would have told him how much she missed him. How much she really really missed him and how every night she had waited for him. Then his heart would melt into putty and it would be hers and he would tell her that he missed her too, how he thought about her every waking moment during his mission and how, in his dreams, she was all he saw…Then maybe they would cuddle. They would cuddle and he would tell her all the things that had ever bothered him. Then they would forgive each other and they'd be like any other normal couple. Complete with the silent promises and dances beneath the stars.

Yeah. Right. Maybe in another life. With another man.

But Neji did not voice the question that hung in the air, didn't ask aloud what did she mean by 'not the way I had hoped', and so Hinata was not obliged to answer it. Hinata mused, that perhaps he didn't really want to know. She was glad. She was very glad. The butterflies that fluttered inside her couldn't be ignored now, now that she had no food to appease them with. Going back inside, he followed her in and sat on the couch, back straight, fists on his knees. She had a feeling that all he wanted to do was collapse and sink into the couch. But that would be oh-so-un-Neji-like and she was somehow sure, that if he had done so, she would have screamed and hit him and demanded who he was and what he had done to the real Neji.

Hinata stood there for a moment, useless, dessert bowls in one hand, the two spoons in another. She walked into the kitchen and put them in the sink, turning on the water so that the sticky ice cream that Hinata had made herself wouldn't stay on the bowls and make it hell for her to wash later on.

She wiped her hands and turned back to Neji, his eyes not having moved from her at all.

"A-Ano…Neji-san, w-would you like me to draw you up a b-bath?" She asked hesitantly.

"Iie, Hinata-sama. I plan on making my way to my apartment. I need a change of clothes. I'll take one there."

"O-oh." Was all Hinata could say.

He got up to leave but something in Hinata's gaze caused him to pause and regard her.

"W-woul-would you like me to accompany you?"

He felt his eyes narrow on her. What a strange request.

"No." He said bluntly.

Her cheeks turned scarlet. He couldn't lie. He didn't want her to come. Why should she come? He could pack his things and carry them himself. The last thing he needed was Hinata helping him with his things. So he left.

Hinata sat in her – their, she corrected herself – living room, nervous. Neji was here two seconds and already he was gone. Hinata almost felt angry. Almost. He came back less than an hour later though and she stood and took the suitcase from him. As she had expected, Neji needed only one, for all his earthly belongings.

He had changed out of his ANBU uniform and his hair was loose now, and slightly wet.

"I-I'll put away your things for you, Neji-san…Y-you, relax for a bi-bit." She whispered, taking the suitcase from him and bracing herself as she did so, expecting the suitcase to be heavy, that she would have let it drop to the floor bringing her along with it.

It was not heavy at all.

He contemplated this idea for a moment it seemed and then he nodded to her and sat back on the couch.

"A-Ano, Neji-san?" Hinata said quietly.

He turned his head to her.

"W-where should I put your th-things."

Neji looked annoyed at the question. Hinata's heart was pounding in her ears. She cursed herself for being so damned useless.

"Anywhere you see fit." He replied with measured patience.

"H-hai…"

Hinata wasn't sure whether he wanted his clothes in the guest bedroom or not. But Hinata knew where _she_ wanted them. And that was besides her own. So she methodically folded and hung and tidied his clothes away in the spaces she had left for his things. She was surprised to see his montsuki kimono among the things he had brought back. It was plain, black as tradition dictated with the Hyuuga crest on the back. The Hyuuga Curse. She traced her fingers over the mark that symbolized the bond that kept the clan close and yet divided. _Neji will end that._ She thought to herself.

Tradition was already breaking up, with Hinata being married to a branch family member…but what else could the council do? They would rather a branch family member be head than her, silly weak little Hinata. Dark wet spots formed on the black kimono from the tears that fell from her eyes. She supposed she had ever right to hate everyone and everything. No one ever had faith in her. How could she prove herself if nobody looked?

"Hinata-sama." Neji called her at the doorway.

Quickly, she put the kimono away and prayed that the tear streaks didn't show. But this was Neji she was talking about. Neji, the genius. Neji who had her eyes. Eyes that saw everything.

"H-hai, Neji-san?" She answered, getting up.

He looked at her, wondering what the tears were for. He didn't ask. He didn't seem to be in the mood for asking questions tonight. Which was fine by her. That way, she wouldn't have to lie. She was terrible at lying.

"I'm going to retire now. Oyasumi-nasai, Hinata-sama." He said to her.

"H-hai…Oyasumi-nasai, Neji-san." She managed a smile.

She watched him push off the door frame with the shoulder that was against it. She heard the door to the guestroom open and then close. She finished with the rest of his things, blushing furiously as she put away his underwear and then went out to the kitchen to wash the dishes. She was surprised therefore, when she saw the dishes were done. He had washed them while she arranged his clothes. All that she had to do now was dry them.

As she bustled around the kitchen putting plates away and drying them with cloth, Hinata suddenly realized. She had taken all the pillows from the guestroom's bed and had put the blanket in the wash. She wondered why Neji hadn't said anything. But then again, he wouldn't, would he. Hinata quickly finished the dishes and went into the linen closet in their room and pulled out the pillows and the spare blanket to bring to Neji.

She debated over knocking or not. In the end, she tapped twice and then let herself in, struggling with the blanket and pillows. She paused, allowing her eyes to adjust to the dark. The guest room's curtains were heavier and darker than the ones in the main bedroom. Hardly any natural light from the outside could come in. For a moment, Hinata's old fear of the dark washed over her and she couldn't move out of the pathway of light that fell into the room through the narrow opening of the door. Finally she moved towards the bed, where Neji lay, awake now and looking up at her.

"N-neji-san!" She squeaked.

He was about to sit up when she stepped on the trailing blanket by mistake and fell on top of him so that she lay sprawled across his chest. Hinata, for once, was grateful to the dark. She was sure she had reached a new shade of red that night. She pushed off of him and he helped her steady herself.

"Gomen nasai! I-I…I forgot about…I had been cleaning here earlier on and…" She stopped.

She felt foolish and stupid. Neji meanwhile, hadn't said a word. In the dark, his eyes were a dark grey and he looked at her for only a moment before thanking her for the blanket and pillows.

"Douitashimashite…" She whispered.

Neji's eyes did not see everything in the dark, but he could see more than Hinata, he knew. It was strange. For Hinata, her ability to see in the dark was close to zero, even with the Hyuuga eyes.

_"Hinata-Sama. Let GO! Your grip's hurting me!" Neji said, agitated. _

_"Gomen Oniisan…demo…I'm scared." Hinata confessed, but she let go. _

_Neji paused. _

_"Nani?" _

_"I can't see…I'm scared, Oniisan. Where are the lights?" _

_Neji was silent. He knew it was making his little cousin nervous. _

_"What do you mean you can't see?" He asked, turning around to look at her. _

_Her eyes were off focus, her eyes looked like Aunt Tsukimi's. Aunt Tsukimi was blind and her eyes could never stay on one thing. Always beyond everything. Neji always had a funny feeling that Aunt Tsukimi wasn't actually blind but busy looking through everything. _

_"I can't. I just can't." _

_Hinata began to cry quietly. This is what he loved about his little cousin. She did everything quietly. She never shouted and was never loud. He patted her awkwardly on the head and told her it was going to be OK, that they needed to be quiet because the adults had said so. He told her it would be alright, that he would always be there to protect her. _

_"Ok, Hinata-sama? I'll protect you. I'll be strong." Neji said. _

_He dint' feel strong. He was sort of scared himself. There was something going on in the Hyuuga household. He had used his Byakugan to see. He saw Hiashi-sama, his face contorted in anger. Then he stopped because the Byakugan gave him a headache. No. He didn't feel strong at all. _

_"H-hai, Neji-niisan." His cousin whispered. "I know. I know you're strong. You've always been, always will be." _

_She drew closer to him and her words stayed with him. Stayed with him because she believed in him, just like his father did. He put an arm around Hinata and pressed a cheek on the top of her head. _

_"I wish I could be strong like you…" Hinata had whimpered. _

_"It's ok, Hinata-sama. I'll be strong for you." _

Hinata still sat on the bed, next to him. She placed the blanket on him, and he sat up so she could put the pillows under his head. But he didn't lie back down when she was done. Instead, he regarded her some more. She hadn't changed much, when it came to being shy. She still had very little confidence…But then, that was just around him. He did that to her, he realized. Around others, she was fine. But with him, she would bend. Just as she did before her father. He cupped a cheek in one hand and he could feel the heat that was radiating off it intensify.

He brought her face closer to his and in the dark, that she bit her lip as he did so. Finally, they were millimetres away, her breath was hot against his face. He wondered if she thought the same about his. He brushed his lips on her forehead, barely a kiss.

"Oyasumi-nasai, Hinata-sama." He said again for the second time that night.

This time, she didn't reply. Only got up, blushing, nearly tripping on her own two feet and left the room, closing the door behind her, leaving him in darkness again.

Hinata breathed again only when she was out of the room. It was like she had been drowning in her bathtub again.

"Breathe. Breathe Hinata. Just…Just breathe." She told herself over and over again, the phrase repeating itself in her head through the night, even as she closed her eyes to sleep. _Just Breathe._


	6. VI: The Difference

**Chapter Rating: **G  
**  
Pairings: **Neji x Hina

**My Reviewers:  
Fukari: **I sincerely hope that this is fast enough for you, XD anyway, thanks for the lovely reviews. Doesn't really matter how many i get, as long as my work is appreciated by somebody. that's all that matters - and if I enjoy doing this, I'll keep on doing it until i get bored.  
But who could ever get bored by they Hyuugas? Not I, I say. :D  
**pretty cherry:** Oh gosh, this rivalry wouldn't be fair. Your writing skills are tons better than mine. :D i love your story. I'm glad mine gave you that push to continue it. YAY! and about our stories being similar at some level, you know what they say: great minds think alike. lol

**

* * *

**

**VI**  
** The Difference **

Neji was gone by the time she woke up. Hinata vaguely remembers waking up sometime, just before dawn and seeing Neji come into the room, a towel wrapped around his midsection, He had opened the cupboard to look through the drawers and then straightened, turning to look at her. She was too sleepy to sit up.

"Ne, Neji-san," she croaked. She stopped talking for a moment, embarrassed by her voice.

She really needed water.

"Go back to sleep, Hinata-sama." He said.

She would have done just that then, if her throat wasn't so dry.

"H-hai…I…I'm just going to get water."

He stopped her, left the room and came back in less than a minute, holding out a glass.

As he had neared her, Hinata breathed him in. He smelt musky. Of man. And the body wash she had bought that smelt of oranges. Yet he didn't smell like oranges. He smelt…good. She drank the glass of water, handed it back to him and instantly dropped off back to sleep.

Hinata had lots of things to do today. The first thing she had done was go to her father's where she informed him that Neji was back. He said that he had already known; that Neji had been there earlier that morning. He expected her to be there that night with him, he'd already informed Neji. She had then dropped off some food at Souga's house, just as she had always done. But today she didn't have time to sit and talk to the old woman. The hospital had become more demanding of her, with Medical Nins in shortage due to many of them going away on missions. Plus she had grocery shopping to do.

Today was going to be hectic and it was going to wear her down, she could tell. Worrying about her husband was only going to slow her down even more, but she did it anyway. She was afraid, he had left again. So during her lunch break at the hospital, instead of eating, she made a visit to the Godaime.

"Hinata-chan! How nice to see you. Sit. Sit." She said, smiling at her old pupil.

Hinata had been an excellent student. What she lacked in what that stuffy family of hers deemed important, she made up for tenfold through her raw talent for healing. Teaching the child was a pleasure, since Hinata was so good and learnt so quickly.

Hinata did as she was told and sat down. Tsunade smiled inwardly to herself. _Always so obedient._ She thought.

"What brings you here, Hinata-chan. And on your lunch break too. You should be eating; being a medical Nin takes up a lot of chakra." Tsunade smiled.

"Sumimasen, Tsunade-sama. Demo, I…I was just wondering…wh-whether you have anything planned for Neji-san…"

_Oh. So she's dropped the 'niisan' at last. _Tsunade grinned.

"Of course I do. He _is_ captain of one of the First Division ANBU Teams." Tsunade smiled.

"O-of course. Bu-but, I meant…I meant…anything that would req-require him to stay away for long…L-like last time…" Hinata whispered.

Tsunade felt guilt crash through her. Of course, Hinata didn't hold grudges. Hinata would have fleeting moments of anger and then she would ignore it, and think of all the things you did for her, to her, that would override the hurt you had caused her. Then she would be OK, honest-to-God OK with you, but not so much with what you did.

"I have to apologize for that one, Hinata. Neji was not supposed to go on that mission. I knew your wedding was only the day before. But your father had nominated Neji go even before that. The rest of the Elders agreed. I couldn't overrule them when it only made sense. The mission apparently required the best and so we sent the best…However, if it had been solely up to me, Neji would have stayed here with you. But Hiashi had put up a pretty good argument…eh…Hinata?"

Hinata's vision was swimming in and out of focus.

_Otousan? Otousan? Nande? Why would he do something like that! _Her mind screamed.

"H-hai, Tsunade-sama?" Hinata managed to blurt out.

"Oh. Good. You're back. Anyway, your lunch break is almost over. They'll be needing you at the hospital, I'm sure. And don't worry. Neji-kun won't have another mission like _that_ for a long time." Tsunade said, smiling.

As Hinata did her job, she performed up to standard as usual, but her mind wasn't there. She worked mechanically and her much younger patients noticed the change.

"Hinata-san, what's wrong?" Kazanrai Okuare was a gruff little boy who lived to try Hinata's patience.

He never managed to do so, of course. Hinata seemed to have an infinite supply of patience. But today, seeing the usually happy, smiling medical Nin seemingly so upset and withdrawn, Okuare's game didn't have much reward in it. Hinata managed a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Is it about Neji-san?" Okuare inquired.

Hinata nearly jumped out of her skin. She looked at the little boy in front of her. He was always here. Almost all the time. Always a dozen scratches and almost always a broken _something_. Children these days. She could not remember being that perceptive when she was five.

"Iie, Okuare-kun." Hinata said, flipping the boy on his stomach so she could tend to the wounds on his back.

"You're a very bad liar, you know, Hinata-san." He said, his voice muffled by the pillow.

Hinata struggled with her grocery as she opened the door. Again, exhausted from her work at the hospital, Hinata wondered if this was normal. She kicked the door shut behind her and took off her sandals using her feet; stepping on the heel of one sandal and pulling out the foot within it and repeating the process. It was only after struggling with the other sandal for a few minutes and then freeing both feet from them, Hinata mentally smacked her forehead and realized she could have just set the grocery down for a moment on the floor.

She put things away. For a moment, she stood back and stared at her kitchen cupboards. They weren't as organised as she liked. The canned foods were with the non-canned foods…snacks were in random places around the kitchen. Hinata rolled up her sleeves and removed everything from every single cupboard and began the cleansing process of re-shelving everything by category. If Hinata had more time before dinner, she would have done it alphabetically.

Hinata bit her lip as she put on her kimono. Dinner with her father always required her to look her best, no matter what. He never said it, no, it was never a spoken rule. But to Hinata it was important. If she could hide behind a dazzling new kimono and an elaborate hairstyle, Hinata could live through the dinner.

Neji clenched and unclenched his fists. He wasn't listening. There was no need. He'd heard this speech a thousand times before. He was the only branch member present, sitting to the right of Hiashi. Hinata sat with the women, her cheeks were crimson and as she carefully sipped her tea, he could see her hands tremble.

He looked around him. There were only three other women present apart from Hinata. The wives of the men present. It was strange. Every man here was married. Yet only four women. The mortality rate of Hyuuga wives was impossibly low. The women were silent. Only the men spoke. Yet, their silence was unlike Hinata's. It was a bitter silence, laced with loathing and disgust. When their husbands addressed them, if ever, they would answer politely, as was required of a Hyuuga woman but there was always a tinge of insolence in their words. He wondered why the men didn't notice. But then again, they were so saturated with themselves that they probably thought the malice in their wives' voices was actually pure, unadulterated admiration.

He wondered if Hinata and him would end up like that. He hoped not. He couldn't see Hinata, his Hinata, becoming bitter. She wasn't the type. He'd have to be a pretty disgusting excuse of a human being to make Hinata change like that.

"…of course, it's different in Hinata's case."

That caught Neji's attention. The women were still as indifferent as ever but Hinata was blushing furiously, her hands clasped tightly on her lap. He didn't turn his head. He knew who was talking. Hyuuga Makoto, one of the older Hyuugas was going on and on about his wife's shortcomings.

"Disgrace, really. Hiashi-san, if my Kagami was that weak, I'd disown her."

Hiashi finally turned his head to look at Makoto.

"Then isn't Hinata lucky, Makoto-san, that I am her father and not you."

Makoto stammered for a moment before regaining his composure.

"It isn't becoming, for a Hyuuga to be so weak."

"Neither is it becoming, Makoto-san," Neji finally spoke up. "For a Hyuuga to be so _rude_."

"Insolence!" Makoto said after recovering from shock. "Hiashi! I demand you punish that boy!"

Hiashi's gaze was ever steely as he looked at Makoto.

"Whatever for, Makoto-san?"

"For being…for…his INSOLENCE!" Makoto spluttered out.

"Iie, Makoto-san. He was merely doing his duty as husband and protector of Hinata, defending her honour."

All the while, the other Hyuugas in the room had been shrinking back from the two men. Everyone that is, except Neji. He sat by Hiashi's side, inside, he laughed. He would have thought that the one person to bring Hiashi and him on the same side would be Hinata.

But then it was expected. Hinata could do strange things to people. Like making her father's cultured mask slip. Like making foolhardy Inuzukas learn how to speak before thinking. Like making a certain Aburame a little less unnerving to people. Like making Neji feel human again. Like making Neji feel needed again. Like making Neji feel.

"Why…you…You! You say so yourself! You say it all the time! You say it all the time that she's weak!" Makoto said, pointing a finger at the Hyuuga Head.

"When a father criticizes his daughter, he means for her to grow from it. When a man criticizes someone else's daughter, he should expect the father's blow." Hiashi said, once again calm.

Neji fought the unnerving desire to smirk at Makoto.

"H-hai. Gomen-nasai, Hiashi-san. Neji-san." He said, bowing his head to them both.

Neji quirked an eyebrow, expecting more.

"My wife, Makoto-san." He said.

Makoto turned a brighter red than Hinata as he turned to the woman.

"Gomen-nasai. Hinata-san."

Neji wondered if had stepped out of bounds with that one. He glanced at Hiashi. How very peculiar. Hiashi was trying to suppress a smirk himself.

"Th-that was embarrassing." Hinata whispered in the dark, as they walked back to their home.

"Hm?" Neji said, not paying attention.

The night's turn of events was deeply troubling him.

"You…you really should have just let him talk…Makoto-san is strange like that. He's a good a man though. I-I'm sure he didn't mean anything he said." Hinata whispered.

It was cold out, he realized. The bridge between winter and spring was always strange. Sometimes it would be warm and sometimes, like tonight, the sting of winter was evident in the wind.

"You know that's not true, Hinata-sama. He meant it." Neji said.

He had Hinata's body next to his own to keep him warm. He wondered if he was doing the same for her.

"H-hai…you're right Neji. He's right." She whispered.

He stopped walking and turned to her.

"Hinata-sama." He said to her, anger in his voice. Her eyes widened. "Don't ever say that again. I defended you not out of duty, Hinata-sama. But because I didn't believe a word he said. Remember that, Hinata-sama…"

"D-demo…Neji…Neji-san…Look at me!" She said, tears freely falling. "I have a weak heart. I-I'm not cut out for this! You know why they made us marry? So you could be head. Hundreds of years of tradition, broken! Broken, because of me! A Branch House member, the head of the clan. It's unheard of! But they did it anyway! They did it because they'd rather have you be head than a pathetic excuse for a kunoichi like me, rule over them."

She slapped a hand over her mouth after she had realized what she had just said. But Neji ignored it, he didn't much care. He knew she spoke the truth.

"It doesn't matter, Hinata sama." He said, removing the hand that covered her mouth.  
He gently cupped her face in both hands. She tried to stutter out an apology then.

"It doesn't matter." He repeated. "If you had become clan head, you would've abolished tradition anyway, isn't that right, Hinata-sama? Either way, those hundreds of years of tradition would have been broken by you. This is just a slightly indirect way of doing it."

She thought for a moment and then nodded, placing her hands on his wrists. He thought she'd pull his hands away but she didn't.

"And what about your heart being weak?" He whispered.

He brought one of her hands over his chest so she could feel his heartbeat. He prayed that she'd think the fast pace at which it was beating was normal. He placed her other hand over her own heart.

"What's the difference between your heart and mine, Hinata-sama?"

Hinata listened for a moment, tilting her head to one side, seemingly confused by his question. Then answered.

"N-nothing…" She replied, unsure if this was the right thing to say. But she was honest.

She watched as Neji smiled down at her and at that moment, her answer instantly became a lie. The difference was that her heart was beating a hundred miles faster. 


	7. VII: Like Hope

**Chapter Rating: **G

** Pairings: **Neji x Hina

**AN: I hadn't realized that my account wasn't accepting any anonymous reviews and i realized that that must have made submitting a critique slightly...well...very annoying to those who don't have accounts here. Gomen for that. And thank you very much, **Funky Nassau** for telling me. :D**  
**  
****My Reviewers:  
Fukari: **Sorry, FanFic wasn't letting me submit this. :( lol. it's a sign.  
**Funky Nassau: **Neji does NOT fumble. lol. that's why there is none present here. lol. sigh neji...ahem ANYWAY...thank you so much for the lovely comment. much appreciated!  
**Lady of Genesis: **lol. thanky youuuuuuuuuuu  
**Nalio: **Here ya goooo!  
**innocent04: **TTTT thank you:D You made me so happy! lol  
**Marumaruyobi: **lol. i hope this is soon. well. it isn't too soon. but it's soon...ish.

Thanks again to those who reviewed. **Chapter VIII** may be slow to show up, since i have to STUDEH. BLEUGH. but oh well. the 'lovely' world of academia beckons.

**

* * *

VII  
Like Hope**

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! I HATE YOU! DAMN YOU! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T YOU EVER GODDMAN TOUCH ME AGAIN!" Sakura screamed at Lee, who was tearing up from both physical and emotional pain.

Hinata blushed, as she sat by her friend's side, trying to soothe her.

"YOU ASSHOLE! TEME! TEME! I HATE YOU! IF YOU TOUCH ME – STOP IT! STOP IT! IF YOU EVER, AND I MEAN _EVER_ TOUCH ME AGAIN, I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!" She screamed.

"Ano, Lee-san…I think…it's best if you moved away…" Hinata whispered. Lee only nodded, but just as he did so, Sakura screamed for him.

"DON'T LEAVE ME YOU COWARD! DON'T LEAVE ME! I HATE YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME! LEAVE ME AND I'LL KILL! I'LL KILL YOU!" She shouted.

Lee looked like he was going to pass out. If he had, Hinata wouldn't have thought any less of him. Chouji and Ino meanwhile, were cowering in the corner.

Sakura was in a pain that seeped from every pore of her body which seemed to manifest itself and cling onto the people around her. In a sense, all of them were in labour as Ino clung on to Chouji, and Chouji clung on to his sanity and Hinata prayed that Sakura wouldn't break the frame of the hospital bed and use it to massacre everyone in the room.

Eleven hours and twenty nine minutes later, Rock Miyoko was born, screaming and kicking, hair dark as her father's and eyes as bright as her mother's. There was a collective sigh of relief. Everyone because it was finally over and Sakura because her Miyoko-chan didn't inherit Lee's disturbing eyebrows. Sakura glowed. Hinata, Chouji and Ino left the couple, as did the rest of the medical staff who had slowly filtered in as time passed to assist Hinata with the delivery.

Hinata waved at Chouji and Ino. Ino looked just about to fall asleep, but her husband supported her. What loyal friends, to stay through all of _that_. Yes, it was beautiful, and as close to a miracle as anything could be – no, it _was_ a miracle – but it was a painful one to listen to.

The hospital halls were dim now. That was to be expected. It was three in the morning after all. Hinata waved a tired goodbye to those on night shift.

"Hinata-chan, maybe you should stay here…It's not good to be out this time of night. You're too tired. You might just pass out in the middle of your walk home." One of her colleagues, Matsuri said.

Hinata smiled at her.

"Iie, Matsuri-chan. I should get going."

"I won't have it, Hina-chan. Not unless – oh!" Matsuri stopped, looking past Hinata.

Hinata tilted her head to one side and turned around, surprised to see Neji.

"It's ok, Matsuri-san. I'll take care of her." Neji said, nodding politely.

Matsuri grinned.

"Hai. I'm sure you will." She giggled.

Neji ignored the implications of the remark and he saw Hinata had missed it completely. Women could be so distasteful sometimes. They walked back home in silence for a few moments before Hinata lifted her head to gaze up at him.

"Arigatou, Neji-san…" She whispered, stifling a yawn. "You shouldn't have. I c-" another yawn. "could have…stayed at the hospital. I have to be there in a few hours again anyway."

"No." He replied.

"Hm?" Hinata said.

"No." He repeated.

Hinata was suddenly slightly awake.

"What do you mean, 'no'? I have work to do." She argued and poked him square in the ribs.

He didn't react. Hinata pouted. She remembered him being ticklish. Apparently not any more.

"I'm not allowing you to go to work tomorrow. You're resting. Resting. Understand?" He said sternly.

Hinata giggled.

"Yes, DAD." She said. He flinched. She giggled some more. "Gomen, Neji-san."

She stifled another yawn and put her arms around one of his, resting her cheek on his arm, too short to actually reach his shoulder.

When they reached their home, Hinata suddenly remembered.

"Ano…Neji-san, what did you have for dinner?" She asked.

He hesitated before answering her.

"Cup Ramen." He said.

"Oh! Gomen-nasai! Oh gosh…You hate Ramen! I-I forgot to get someone to tell you that dinner for today is in the fridge…All you needed to do was put in the oven…" Hinata could barely talk anymore without every other word being replaced by a yawn.

"It's alright, Hinata-sama. It wasn't too bad. I'll live. How about you. Do you want me to make anything for you?" Neji asked.

If Hinata wasn't so tired, she would have taken up his offer just to see if he would. Instead, she smiled sleepily and practically crawled into the bedroom. She cringed at the thought of having to perform various tasks for hygienic purposes. She was sure that splashing cold water on her face would wake her up some. Then her sleep wouldn't be as delicious.

Hinata sighed and went into the bathroom, half-heartedly splashing water on her face and brushing her teeth. She stripped off her clothes and put on fresh underwear and a huge shirt that she suspected to be one of Neji's. But it was on her pile of shirts so he would just have to deal with it. _Finally_. She managed to close the lights and all but collapsed on the bed.

Five minutes later, she felt Neji lift her up.

"Mmph, Neji-s-san…" She said sleepily.

"Go back to sleep."

"Mmhm. As soon as you sto-stop…"

"I'm just putting you under the blanket. You're going to get a cold, Hinata-sama."

Neji frowned as his wife made an incomprehensible noise that sounded as if she couldn't care less if she died of pneumonia, as long as she could sleep. He used his knee to shove the blanket down before settling her back on the bed. As he did so, his upper body came into contact with hers and he felt his breath hitch for a moment as her indefinable warmth seeped through the shirt – his shirt – that she was wearing. She shivered slightly.

"Neji-san…"

He lifted off her slightly and saw her lips were parted slightly and her eyes were glazed over. He wasn't sure if they were glazed over from sleep or…

"Neji-san…" she murmured again.

The hand he had trapped beneath her knees twitched slightly.

"H-hai, Hinata-sama." He said; his voice raspy.

"Th-the heater…in the guestroom isn't working. You can stay here tonight…if you like…" She said.

"Hai." He replied, glad that his voice didn't crack as it did last time.

He walked to the other side and pulled down the blanket. He sat down, and stayed like that for a moment, his back to her. Carefully, he got under the blankets and lay on his back, rigid, staring up at the ceiling and trying his best not to move towards the heat that was Hinata.

He saw her curl on to her side, one arm underneath the pillow she lay on and the other reached out to lie softly on his shoulder. He allowed himself to relax a little. Hinata was already asleep.

From the next room, he could hear the gentle hum of the heater.

---

It had been raining. Hinata was sorry she had missed it. Rain was rare in Konohagakure. Now, all she wanted to do was jump in the puddles and giggle like a little girl. But as tempting as it was to revert into a five year old again, she couldn't. Neji was waiting for her.

Just as his father had ordered of them, Neji was going to train her. Their sessions were always postponed however, due to Neji's schedule and hers as well. They rarely saw each other these days. Only at dinner.

Tonight was different though. Neji, for once, was getting off early and Hinata, although she was exhausted, couldn't pass up this chance. When she reached Neji's practice area, he was already there, throwing shuriken with such grace and ease that it hardly seemed possible for a human to be able to move like that.

Hinata had dropped the dinner she had carefully packed on the ground as she watched Neji. His fluid movements made something within her whir, and suddenly the inside of her was like a large clock, with cogs and wheels all whirring and things began to snap in place. She clasped her hands tight together and she watched him move. Unconsciously, she had begun to match his breathing pattern with her own. He had known she was there, of course he did. She felt that he noticed the change in her breathing and she saw that he shifted his eyes over to her.

Neji stopped and stood straight. She could see he hadn't even broken out into a sweat. She waved weakly and greeted him. He bowed his head in reply. She picked up the dinner and made her way over to him.

"Alright, Hinata-sama. We'll begin."

Hinata put the dinner on the ground next to a tree stump and adjusted the bun on her head. She was nervous. She hadn't trained in a while now. Suddenly her limbs were heavy and she gulped. Next to Neji, she would look like a lumbering cow.

Both got into fighting stance.

"I want you to come at me with all you've got, Hinata-sama."

Hinata blinked several times.

"H-hai…"

She did as she was told…or tried to. She avoided his critical areas and every time she came into contact with him, she apologized. Finally, he stood suddenly, no longer blocking her and she managed to hit him on the shoulder.

He didn't even flinch.

"Hinata-sama, this is not acceptable."

Hinata looked down at her feet.

"G-gomen…"

"I said with all you've got. You're avoiding critical areas entirely; you're too busy trying NOT to hit me, when you should be trying to rip my throat out. Worst of all, you didn't even activate your Byakugan!"

She nodded.

"Let's try it again, Hinata-sama. This time, plant your feet farther apart so you can gain more stabili – _not _that far away, Hinata." He rolled his eyes as she stumbled onto her knees.

"G-gomen." She said again.

"Your footwork leaves a lot to be desired." He said.

"G-go –"

"Stop." Neji said. "Enough with the apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry about. Understand?"

Hinata didn't respond, she just looked at him, an apology threatening to spring from her lips.

"You are a Hyuuga. More importantly, you are Hyuuga Hinata. Remember that. Now. Again. This time, I expect you to be aiming for my vital organs."

Hinata took a few more moments before she came at him again. This time, her Byakugan activated, she concentrated on hitting him where he had instructed. He managed to dodge every attack.

"Your movements are too obvious Hinata-sama."

She bit her lip and tried to change her tactics, feigning every now and then. Still. He read every one of her movements. Hinata bit her lip in frustration. His Byakugan wasn't even activated.

"You're wasting too much energy." He continued. "Apart from that –"

"I-I know!" She snapped. "I know just how useless I am! Alright? Okay? I _know_."

She stumbled a little and looked at him, eyes wide, surprised at her how outburst. His eyes were equally wide.

He couldn't believe it. Hinata had just lost her temper. She _never_ lost her temper. Yet here she was. But as soon as the anger came, it was gone and now she was trembling in frustration and shock. His gaze on her softened.

"Let me finish. Apart from that, Hinata-sama, your speed has greatly increased." He watched in well-hidden astonishment as her face lit up. "I do believe however, that there is lots of room for improvement."

The smile on her face was not wiped off. Neji thought she'd improved! It didn't matter that he didn't think her fast enough yet. Because more importantly, Neji thought – believed – that she could improve some more.

All of a sudden, Neji was on his back, with Hinata on top of him; arms around his neck and muffled thanks and laughter emanating from her. She lifted her head to look at him.

"I was just tired! I'll do better next time! I promise!" Hinata smiled.

Where was the shyness now, he wondered.

"Hai, hai, Hinata-sama. Although I do believe that Naruto has rubbed off on you."

Hinata blushed. But to his even greater surprise, she grinned.

"Oh? So Naruto often tackles you to the ground?" She giggled.

_Interesting. _Neji mused, smirking. _Let's see how far she'll go…_

"Oh all the time. But come to think of it…I like it better when you do it." The smirk pasted on his face.

Hinata burned crimson and she was off him faster than he could think _dammit_.

"I-I'll go get the dinner…you- arigatou for training me…" She got up and ran towards their packed dinner and Neji sat himself up.

She felt nice, against him, he thought to himself. She felt right. But he couldn't think about that. How could he think about that. It's all just the same. Sure they were married now. He could, legally, have her whenever he wanted. Whenever he needed. But it was wrong. And he would hate himself for it afterwards. And then he would hate her for making him hate himself. The cycle would be endless.

He wondered if she felt his need. Sometimes, when she was already asleep, he would go to her room and watch her. He wondered if his desire for her would wake her up. He knew it was strong enough. But he wouldn't touch her. He sat, on the armchair which he moved so his shadow wouldn't obstruct his view of her, and watched her sleep. Everything was different and yet it was all the same. She was always out of reach.

"H-here you go, Neji-san…" She whispered, placing his dinner on his lap.

She sat a little away from him, eating her own. They ate in silence.

Afterwards, even though it was dark, and he knew it would be pointless seeing as Hinata was nearly blind in the dark, he showed her some shuriken techniques. He needed a way to blow off steam.

Hinata tried to see but couldn't, the moon was covered in clouds. Seeing in the dark had never been one of her strengths. She did see the deft movements of Neji though and envisioned herself doing the same things. As she heard the shuriken strike the targets, she knew that they had all hit the targets dead centre. Neji was like that. He was almost perfect. Hinata felt Neji was capable of anything. Neji was telling her something and she smiled sheepishly and nodded. Yes. He was capable of anything. And Neji, capable of everything, would help her. He would help her succeed.

It began to rain again and she saw Neji stop and raise his face to the heavens, eyes closed. Hinata found herself doing the same. He called to her after a while and she opened her eyes and saw he was ready to leave. She picked up the boxes she had kept dinner in and put it in the bag she had brought them in and ran towards him.

They walked home together, not touching.

Neji didn't look at her but Hinata kept glancing up at him.

Finally he turned and asked her what she wanted. She could only blush, alarmed, and then sheepishly apologized, turning away from him. She could practically _hear_ the smirk form on his lips. The rain stopped all of a sudden and Hinata looked up at the clouds. Next to her, Neji took the bag that held the boxes in it. It hadn't made much of a difference to Hinata, the weight of the bag, but this gesture did. Hinata stammered thanks which he murmured a "Douitashimashite" to.

When Hinata next looked up at the sky, the clouds were gone.

The stars twinkled down on the two of them like hope in an endless sea.


	8. VIII: Back

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13

**My Reviewers:  
Nalio / sher / emir / Confissao: **Thanks. :D  
**Lady of Genesis: **Slow? O.o Gomen...  
**innocent04: **:) Thanks...I won't be stopping anytime soon, even if I update real slow and stuff. And if I do, I'll have a VERY valid reason!  
**Fukari: **Oh Gosh, you make me BLUSH! Thanks so much. I really appreciate it.  
**PharoahofDuels: **Hey! Thank you. Some people do have fantastic stories and plots...just, English isn't their first language which is a pity. But, thank you, I really am glad you like this...hope I live up to your praise. :D  
**Marumaruyobi: **Yeah. Studying's a biatch. But oh well. Hopefully all this crap'll be worth it in the end. -.-;  
**MisSs005: **Yeah, I know, InoChou is a pretty surprising pairing. But I've seen some fantastic fics out there that really made me go "ooh! aaah!" and it prompted me to stick them together. 'sides. Shika belongs with Temari. hehe. lol.  
**Anti-D: **Unfortunately, this is as soon as was possible. -.-; Gomen, ne?

**Scented Candles: **Thank you so much...

**

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**_For Scented Candles whose review prompted me to get off my lazy ass and continue this.  
Arigatou Gozaimashita. n.n_  
VIII  
Back**

The flowers had bloomed. Spring came snow receded and soon it seemed that the snow had never been. Then summer came just as quietly. Neji had always thought, as clichéd as it seemed, that Hinata was like the summer. Or maybe he had thought that summer, was like Hinata. But that was before he was married to her and they lived under the same house.

They spent little, very little time together. How could they spend any time with each other? Neji was busy. Neji didn't have time. When he came back home these nights, Hinata was already asleep. In the beginning, she was asleep on the couch. She had stayed up waiting for him. Now he would come home, and he wasn't greeted by the sight of a sleeping Hinata on the couch, dinner cold on the table. Now he came home and Hinata was in bed already and his dinner sat in the oven.

Yes, once he thought Hinata was like the summer. But she wasn't. He was wrong. Just as he had been wrong about almost everything concerning her, which he was beginning to realize now. Hinata was not the summer. She was not a season. She was not fleeting, she did not come and go, she did not pass like time. Hinata was permanent and steady. Hinata did not move. She was still. Hinata did not sway.

Neji had been sent on a mission several weeks ago. He had only returned a few weeks ago. His mind had been a whirlpool of emotions and he ached everywhere. He had come home and he had expected dinner. Hinata always had dinner ready for him. His expectations were met. Dinner was there. But Hinata was not.

When she came back that night, she had obviously been exhausted. She looked tired to the bone.

"Where have you been."

Hinata had blinked, and then smiled. "Okaeri-nasai, Neji-san!"

"Where have you been."

"I-I…no where." She replied.

He had paused then. His question had been asked simply to make some sort of conversation. But her answer. Her answer had stopped him in his tracks.

"What do you mean, 'no where'?" Suddenly he wanted to know the answer.

"Neji-san, I-…I…Ittai!"

He had had her pinned against the wall, his hands wrapped tightly around her wrists.

"Hinata-sama, where were you." He said, struggling with himself.

"G-gomen…I was with Kiba-kun. He…H-he needed me."

Kiba. Kun. He had her trapped. She was right _there_. They were so _close_. She had been shaking slightly. He had looked down at her lips and he'd leaned down to capture them in his own. Didn't she know? Didn't she care? Kiba-kun. Kiba-kun. Needed her. Didn't she know? Didn't she care? He needed her more. Their lips had been a breath apart. Hers had parted. He had stopped. He had dropped her wrists. He had greeted her goodnight and went into his room and didn't come out.

He had stopped because he had realized that he didn't so much want to kiss her, as he had wanted to suck her soul out through her lips. He wanted to capture her and trap her and make her his. _His_. Not…Kiba's. He was blinded by rage and…envy. He knew. She preferred anyone's company to his.

That night, most of which he could no longer remember, Hinata was at his side, trying to soothe his fever. She had stayed the entire night and the next day she didn't go to work. He was blind with pain and it was just so _cold_. But Hinata, he knew had stayed there. Three days later he had gotten better. He had left and when he came back, Hinata was home, having left the hospital early that day. She had gone to him, and checked for his fever, placing a palm on his forehead. He had reeled back from her touch and her hand was suspended in front of them, fingers beginning to curl in and he had watched as she pulled her hand back slowly. He had seen it then. A fading purple ring around her wrists, his fingerprints staining her porcelain skin blue.

So now he couldn't, didn't want to get near her. Neither did he ever touch her. Every touch was a confession and every touch burned him from the inside out. But every burn it seemed; was freedom.

He stiffened when Hinata entered the bedroom they were supposed to be sharing with each other. He never went in there. Only to get clothes. He knew, she was watching him as she pulled down the covers and slipped carefully in.

"Oyasumi-nasai, Neji-san." He heard her.

He pretended not to and slid the closet door shut, the full length mirror attached to the door coming into view, along with Hinata behind him. Her paper-white eyes staring up at him. He wondered, how a blank sheet could say so much. Focusing on his own reflection, he saw himself, eyes like hers with nothing written on them either but having nothing to say. He turned around and looked at her.

"Itte kimasu." He whispered.

Hinata sat up then.

"N-ne, Neji-san? Where...where are…" She closed her mouth and didn't complete her question.

It was better that way. If she didn't ask, he wouldn't lie. He could have, would have, said that he was going on a mission and would be back by dawn. That the Hokage had some task or another for him. But she didn't ask so he didn't lie.

It was hot. Neji could hardly breathe behind the mask. It didn't matter. He sat, perched on the walls that surrounded Konohagakure. Beyond its walls were other ANBU, returning from missions or just guarding the village. His peripheral view showed that there was a concentration of ANBU roughly fifty feet away. He didn't move from his spot when they emerged from the forest and asked access into the gates. He looked down upon them; four men were carrying the limp bodies of two more. His eyes widened.

He dropped down from his place on the wall, concentrating chakra on his hands so he could graze the wall with it, slowing down his impact. The ANBU below looked up.

"Eagle." They acknowledged him, nodding.

He bowed his head a fraction and then turned his attention to the two bodies being carried.

"We found this one carrying the other one…both are suffering some major injuries." The Bear said, gesturing to the body he carried.

The guards at the gates finally opened the gates for the five ANBU. Neji said nothing.

"We should take these to the hospital." The Tiger whispered.

"Someone has to alert the Hokage about this." Neji finally said.

"Nani?" The Bear asked.

"She'd want to know."

The smallest of the other four, the Dog, nodded.

"Hai. I'll inform her immediately."

He disappeared.

Neji followed the other three to the hospital and followed the nurses to a private room he had requested for them where the two were laid down. Neji stared. Both suffered major burns; one of them all the way up his left arm, the other on his right. He stared. The moment they had been lain down on stretchers and were close enough, the more badly torn up of the two had unconsciously grabbed on to the shirt of the other in a death grip. He did not let go. They had to push the two beds together to get them close enough to each other.

Neji stayed, he didn't know for how long. But the Hokage had turned up and then a hundred other people had turned up and they swarmed around the two lying in the beds. Jutsus were being performed left right and centre. Neji ignored everyone completely, stepping aside to give them room but that's about as much acknowledgement he gave the others. His gaze was transfixed on the two.

Near dawn, everyone began to filter out. No one stayed but Neji and the Hokage. She looked exhausted but she didn't leave the side of the smaller of the two who still held the other as if even in sleep, he was frightened the other would leave again. Tsunade hadn't shown this to the others, but it was alright in front of Neji who had probably seen it anyway. Tears fell and landed on the cheeks of the one Tsunade was bent over. She smoothed his forehead over, the young man before her being shown the affection a mother would give her hurt twelve year old.

Tsunade whispered and Neji didn't listen but he couldn't help but watch. She was rocking slightly, lips brushing the bare forehead, hair being smoothed back over and over again. An ANBU appeared and quick as a flash, Tsunade's face was blank, none of the earlier pain visible. She left the room.

Neji stayed a moment longer. He turned towards the door and eyes were trained on the back of his head.

"Okaeri-nasai, Sasuke-san." Neji said without turning around and gave the other a curt nod before leaving.

Sasuke's eyes looked on and didn't move from Neji. Once Neji was gone he looked down at the hand that gripped his shirt tightly but didn't even try to remove it. He turned his head to his left where the other lay. Blue eyes were closed and blonde hair matted to the tanned forehead, face contorted slightly in pain. Sasuke turned away, lying stiff as a board and stared up at the ceiling. Nothing had changed in the deep, cold, ebony eyes apart from the fact that they had grown deeper and colder. But that was only when he wasn't looking at the one besides him.

He returned a few hours before dawn, slipping into more comfortable clothes and stared out of the window. Neji stepped into the guest bedroom and paused for a moment. A guest in his own home.

Hinata was surprised to see Neji sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee in front of him. She couldn't imagine Neji making coffee.

"Ohayou Gozaimasu, Neji-san." She greeted.

He looked up from his cup and nodded a reply. His face was drawn, his face a thin line and the muscles of his jaw taut from pressing his mouth shut.

"A-Ano, Neji-san…Daijoubu ka?" She whispered, walking over towards him.

She tried to press a hand against his forehead but he reeled away; dodging her hand as if she were attacking him. She tried to hide the hurt she felt.

"Hai." Was all he said.

She wanted to press on but it was obvious he wasn't going to talk about it. Instead, she went to make coffee for herself. She gave him a side glance. Neji hated coffee. He never drank it. Let alone made this much. She was sure it was all for him. She lifted the carafe and saw that it was nearly empty; a telltale ring of coffee showing it had once been full. He'd drank all of it by himself? She was surprised he wasn't on a caffeine-high. The coffee which she brought with her from the Main House was chock full of caffeine. It was imported and one of the finest around.

"I didn't put much coffee in it. It just gave me something to drink." He said from behind her, as if reading her mind.

She stayed silent. Maybe he would talk some more. She poured out the remaining coffee, washed the carafe and began making another. She leaned against the counter, inhaling the rich smell. She looked over at Neji who was looking at her now. It made her nervous. She pulled at her freshly washed hair. Unlike most people, Hinata showered first, before having her coffee. She pulled it into a bun and kept it in place with the hair tie she had around her wrist.

The coffee was done and soon she was revelling in her own cup, standing instead of sitting next to Neji who looked like he liked this particular arrangement very much. He was tapping gently on the table, his coffee nearly finished. She looked into her own cup, it too, nearly empty.

"Naruto is back."

Neji stared at the broken cup of coffee on the floor in the place where Hinata had once stood. He was glad he'd waited for her to finish before telling her. He heard the front door being tugged open and then slammed shut. No Good-bye. No Itte Kimasu. Nothing. He was alone in the house that was barely his. He continued to stare at the broken cup. He got up and left himself, not bothering to pick up the broken pieces.


End file.
